Terrible Tuesday – Hugs Needed

I’m not going to wait till tomorrow to let you know that I have been a failure this week.  Ok maybe “failure” is a bit harsh – maybe not?!?  Failure is how I feel.  Here's what went down…...this past Thursday at a company wide meeting it was announced that a round of layoffs are inevitable within the next few weeks.  Of course no one knows who will be affected so the only thing to do is wait and hope it’s not you.  So of course I have been stressedL (that just may be the understatement of the year) and I will say that is no excuse for not exercising as much and not tracking my calories but that is what I have done.  I haven’t gone completely off the wagon, I'm still making good choices for my main meals, but the snacks have crept back in.  And not an apple kind of snack.  Like a fun size twix and pretzels for a snack.  Also this past week I have only exercised 3 times insead of 6.  I’m human and I make mistakes – I've been trying not to beat myself up about it since I’m already freaked out about work stuff.  But easier said than done.  All I can promise is that next week I’ll do better, I have to do better.  This one week cannot erase all the good that I have been doing over the last 2 months.  So here is my question - how do you handle stress?  Any suggestions besides going home not exercising and eating pretzels?  

P.S....I need a hug.

Ay Dios Mio!

As promised I amd going to let you know how my first Zumba class was this morning.  It kicked my a$$. When I was on the way to the studio I was thinking this is going to be a welcome vacation from jogging on the treadmill.  It will be nice to not have to work so hard to burn calories.  HAHA Joke is sooooo on me.  That workout is no joke (If your a follower of my blog you I know I say "is no joke" a lot)!  It starts out kinda easy for the warm up then the instructor (Vanessa) starts working us like we are training to be in the Latin Lover Salsa Competition.  Side note - Vanessa is beautiful, gorgeous, tiny, Latin hottie with one of the best bodies and butts I have ever seen. She has a J Lo booty.  But she's nice so I can't hate her.  Damn.  The people that take the class too are really nice too andd they are all different ages and sizes.  Yay!  So I didn't feel too out of place.......until the booty shaking started.  There is a lot of butt shaking in Zumba.  Vanessa's booty shaking was in time with the music mine was not as well calculated to say the least.  While I was trying to shake my butt at the appropriate time and then try to stop the shaking when it was not booty shaking time the song by Destiny's Child "Bootylicious" was running through my head.  Especially the lyric "I don't think your ready for this jelly".  I don't think any of those women, and one brave man, were ready for my spastic booty jelly shaking.  So not only was it a hard workout I looked like a complete idiot doing it.  I know this because there are mirrors that line one entire wall in the work out room.  I was trying to avoid looking in the mirror the whole class for fear if I saw what I looked like I would have to grab my stuff and make a b-line for the door.  But of course I did catch a couple of glimpses.  I can describe what I looked like as a cross between Elaine's dancing on Seinfeld and Napoleon Dynamite's mad dancing skills.  Not pretty.  BUT it was fun and as awkward as I felt and looked I will be back for more.  Zumba is only twice a week so I will still be jogging.  I'm no where near where I was a few weeks ago with the C25K, but I'm not giving up!  The next Zumba class is this coming Thursday so at 6:30 when the class starts do me a favor and listen to the song "Bootylicious" and think of me trying to get my jelly under control.

Weigh Day Wednesday – Whew

Sorry this is one day late – someone that lives in my house that is obsessed with cars took over my computer last night to look at car crap stuff.   Here's how yesterday morning went down  - I feel like I dodged a bullet – after my Maggiano’s dinner on Saturday I was fully expecting the worst.  But was pleasantly surprised when I weighed and lost 0.4.  Not quite ½ a pound but I’ll take it and be happy with it.  I need to mix up my exercise so I’m going to try a Zumba class on Saturday – Oh Lord watch out.  I’ll let you know how that goes for sure! 

Any of you have any questions for me?  I'll gather up all of your questions and do an Q and A post.  Or do you have any topics that you want me to blog about?  Makeup tutorials? Hair tutorials?  Although I only know how to do big giant Texas hair so I'm guessing probably no on the hair tutorial, Ha!

Men and Food

This past weekend the hubs (Joe) and I went out to eat a few times – which I am not proud of by the way and I know that my Wednesday weigh day is going to suck – I mean suck.  I didn’t go nuts but I definitely ate a few things not on my new plan.  Yesterday I was back on track and getting ready to microwave a Lean Cuisine while the hubs was heating up the most awesome smelling left over pasta from Maggiano’s.  He started to talk about how much weight that he thinks he needs to lose and I began to get a little bitter.  Now let me preface this by saying that I do not think that he needs to lose weight and he is MORE than supportive of me.  He NEVER speaks about my weight and treats me like I look like a super model.  I’m the only one in the house that is uncomfortable with how I look.  But as he is going on and on about his stomach I am getting more and more agitated.  I kinda snapped – not in a crazy way – in a sarcastic jokey kind of way.  This way I could make my point without picking a fight.  The conversation went something like this:

Me – You have no idea what it’s like to be on a diet or worry about your weight

Hubs – I have to watch what I eat

Me – Seriously?!?  When?

Hubs – Well…….

Me – Have you ever had to weigh your food? (the scale was out as I was weighing food at the time putting snacks in portioned controlled baggies for the week)

Hubs – No  (he’s looking at me like I had 10 eyeballs)

Me – You ate fast food 3 times last week for lunch and pizza for dinner one night and are still wearing the same size pants this week

Hubs – Yes

Me – When we go out to eat do you ever not order something because of the calories/fat?

Hubs – No

Me- I have been consumed with my weight since the 4^th grade and have been on some sort of diet for that long

Hubs – You’re right I have no idea what any of that is like

I was not trying to make him feel bad and the conversation was a lot more playful then it sounded above.  He left to go eat his pasta – it was probably a good idea that he left the room cause I might have wrestled him for it.  But it got me thinking of the differences between men and women with food/weight.  I’m not going to get all preachy and talk about society and the pressures that are on women to be thin.  We all know about it and have heard it a billion times over.  I’m not using that as any kind of excuse either.  I’m talking about sitting with my husband at a restaurant and watching him order whatever he wants.  Not giving a thought to the fact that the chicken alfredo he is going to eat has over 1000 calories in it.  Or that a chimichanga (his favorite) is not only a burrito filled with cheese but is deep fried topped with more cheese.  If I ordered that stuff, even if I only ate ½ of the portion, I would be one of those people that are so big that they can’t get out of the front door.  Before I order anything I mentally add up the calories/fat/carbs that are going to touch my lips.  Even 2 months ago when I was having a day where I just didn’t care what I ate I was still mindful of how “bad” the dish was that I just ordered and then felt guilty after eating it.  I know that I am not alone.  Most women I know do this.

It also got me thinking about clothes and shopping.  Joe needed new jeans so last week we went to Dillard’s.  When he was trying them on he asked me to grab him a different size.  I know that men’s sizing goes up pretty big but I was a bit taken back when I saw that they went up as far as a 42.  Maybe I’m in denial but it seems to me that proportionately a women size 14/16 is far smaller than a 42 in men’s.  I could be wrong.  It would not be the first time.  So as I was waiting for Joe to come out of the fitting room I started to look around at all the different size men that were shopping in that department.  There were some pretty big guys shopping in the regular men’s department able to wear the same thing as a scrawny guy.  Misses and Plus sizes are a completely different story.  Prior to this post I looked up what the average size of a woman in America is and its between a 12 and 14.  Misses sizes usually go up to a 14/16 and the dept is ginormous most of the time right in front when you walk in.  Plus sizes on the other hand are shunned to the back of the store.  Like a plus size woman has leprosy and can’t mingle with the rest of society when shopping.  The clothing in the “Women’s” dept is a really special treat in a barfy kind of way.  Usually there are 3 giant no shape shirts to choose from with the most god-awful prints complete with sequins oh and some elastic waistband pants.  I fall right in between Misses and Plus.  Some stuff is too tight for me to wear in the Misses dept and some Plus size stuff is too big.  Here's my question why not have a department more like the men's - have a wider range of sizes so the average size woman is not on the high end of the spectrum?  Just a thought. 

Just seems to me that men have it easier with food and shopping!  Ok my daily rant is over.  Back your regularly scheduled program with my next blog post.  I promise to cut it with the ranting.

 

20 Questions

I recently got one of those emails from a friend that asks a bunch of random questions. The whole point is to hit reply all and give your answers. You get to know a little more about everyone on the email. I thought it would be fun to share my answers with you and then you copy and pasted these in the comments field and let me know your answers.

1. What was your favorite food when you were a child?
• Um Pasta (it still is my favorite food by the way) – I use to eat cold spaghetti for breakfast before school.  I may or may not have had a bite of cold pasta last week before running out the door for work.
2. What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
• This one surprised me.  I went to my iTunes account and looked up the song that I have played the most.  It’s a song called ‘Sunrise’ by Simply Red.  I heard this song on XM Radio one day….I have no idea if it’s a new song or an old song cause I have never heard XM play it again. 
3. What are some of your favorite quotes?
• "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly" – Unknown
• "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  -Maya Angelou
4. What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
• Surprise surprise - I do like outside if I'm on the beach laying in a hamock drinking a pina colada.  My favorite indoor activity would be cooking.
5. What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
• This is an easy one – cleaning the shower.  I can’t stand it.  It’s so annoying.  Thank goodness Joe likes to clean it.  I knew I married him for a reason.
6. What is your favorite form of exercise?
• I really want it to be running but I am SUCKING at it.  Every since I had the flu my heart is just not in it anymore.  It’s really been bumming me out.  I’m still doing it every day but haven’t progressed at all.  I love to dance but until I lose like 50 I will not be setting foot into any kind of dance class.
7. What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
• Day – dusk.  I LOVE dusk.  Right after the sunset.  Just thinking about it makes me smile.
• Day of the Week – Friday.  I guess for obvious reasons.
• Month – December – I love the holidaysJ
8. What’s your least favorite mode of transportation?
• This one was a tough one.  I like to drive short distances but anything longer than an hour and a half I want to jump out of the moving car just to get out.  I use to love to fly – but it such a cattle call now that I can’t stand it.  I’m not a fan of crowds or being pushed and shoved.  I loathe any creepy stranger sitting next to me on the plane that feels the need to “stretch out” and put some body part up against mine, someone that forgot to take a shower for the last 2 years or is trying natural deodorant.  So flying super sucks too.  Maybe I need to give trains a whirl?  Or win the lottery so I can fly first class. 
9. What sound do you love?
• I hate noise so hmmmmmm……not sure?!?  When I was a kid and we had a wood burning fire place and I use to love the sound of the fire and the wood popping.  You don’t get that now with gas fireplaces.
10. If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint?
• The sun setting along the ocean – most beautiful thing I have ever seen
11. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
• Book like 10 back to back cruises
12. Which celebrity do you get mistaken for?
• I’m way too awesome to get mistaken for some used up celebrity.  Just kiddingJ  I haven’t been told that I look like anyone.
13. What would you name the autobiography of your life?
• Seriously?!?  Ha!  This is like “who’s on first”.  I really would name it “Seriously!?!” I say it all the time and it pretty much sums up everything good and bad
14. Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best?
• Going on a blind date when I met my husband.  I was not really looking forward to it, cause let’s face it when are blind dates ever a good idea?  But thank God I didn’t cancel.  Thanks Tamara for setting it all up, and thanks Mom for not letting me talk myself out of it!
15. What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up?
• The TV show “Revenge”.  There was an episode where one of the characters dog diesL  So sad.
16. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
• Divorce.  Even though I was married to Satan and divorce was actually a gift - the process is heart wrenching.  My entire life flipped upside down.  Rhonda if you are reading this I thank you for every minute of every day that you were there for me.  I couldn’t have gone through it without you.
17. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?
• When I was growing up my parents always told me that they would never buy me a car.  I would have to earn the $$ and get one myself.  I had a job and was saving.  For my 17^th birthday my parents sent me on a treasure hunt to find my present.   Side note - I LOVE treasure hunts!  The clues led me to our neighbors house where there was a used (but new to me) car in the driveway filled entirely with balloonsJ
18. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
• Hmmmm – trying to remember.  Oh ok I got it…..I was 15 and received my very first pay check.  I went and bought a new bottle of Escape perfume and a wallet.  My best friend at the time had spent the night after we went shopping.  She went to pack her bag when I was helping my mom and stole my stuff.  I know that’s what happened cause the perfume and wallet were on my bed and when she left the were gone.  Of course I asked her about it and she swears she didn’t take anything.  We broke up after that.  I get pissy just remembering that story.  We were best friends for over 2 years.  Lame!
19. When was the last time you were nervous?
• I'm not a big fan of work meetings - so anytime that I have to be on one with peeps that I don't know I get a little nervous. 
20. What story does your family always tell about you
• Well my family ALWAYS teases me about how girly I am.  So mom my loves to tell the story about how I potty trained myself when I was 18 months old cause I hated being dirty.  I started checking out everyone else using the potty and so I just started using it too.  Probably TMI for a Sunday afternoon but that is the only one that I can remember right now.  Oh and my sister Colleen teasing me about my big hair – saying it’s so big that it gets to cast its own vote in the election. 

Weigh Day Wednesday - Blah!

Well well well.......I am so disappointed.  I don't even feel like posting tonight since I don't have anything nice to say I should just shut it and not say anything at all, but a promise is a promise.  Here is the run down - I didn't gain but I didn't lose either.  I have no idea what the eff is going on.  I stopped eating Lean Cuisine's and so much processed food.  I have been cooking things like grilled chicken and brown rice.  I am exercising 6 days a week burning 240 calories each session.  I log everything that I eat.  The only thing that I can think of is that I had one cheat meal this week.  I read an article written by Bob Harper from Biggest Loser where he said that its actually good to have one cheat meal a week - without going crazy.  I made homemade pasta on Saturday and had a small piece of tiramisu.  I didn't go crazy, I didn't eat anywhere near what I would have 2 months ago.  I didn't have an entire cheat day just one stinking meal.  I ate really well the whole day prior to the cheat.  Unfortunately sitting here bitching about it isn't going to change anything. But losing at this snails pace is messing with my head.  I hope that things will turn around next week - if not I may blow up my scale.

Wednesday Weigh Day on Thursday - Oops!

I’m a day behind – sorry.  Yesterday’s weigh day was good – I lost 1 pound.  I know that it’s not monumental or anything but I had gained one during the week, I’m assuming from the lack of exercise due to being sick, so in actuality I lost 2 this week.  But from last Wednesday to this Wednesday just the one.  It’s going slow but I’m feeling good about it.  Every morning when I get on the scale I just keep thinking whatever the number says today by next week it will be lower and I will never see this weight again.  It keeps me going.  It keeps me from eating something lame – like today I had a work meeting during lunch where they of course ordered pizza.  Ugh.  Just once can anyone think outside of the pizza box and order something a teeny bit healthy?!?  I figured that the lunch would be more calories than I was willing to spend so brought my own.  I’m down 9 pounds since the beginning of September.  Not exactly where I wanted to be at a month and a half in but I’ll take it.  My jeans are so loose I can pull them on and take them off without unbuttoning or unzipping them.  I can feel my shirts getting looser.  I can tell some of the nuts that I was storing in my chipmunk cheeks have gone missing.  Again nothing monumental – just little things that I have noticed.  Next week if I lose another pound it will be time for progression pictures.  I’m still going back and forth on if I want to subject myself to public humiliation.  Thoughts? 

As far as the jogging goes.  I had to go back to Week 4 of C25K.  I am still not past being able to run longer than 8 minutes at a time.  I am not as disappointed as I was last week.  Everyday it’s getting a little better.  I’ll get back to where I was – it’s just going to take some more time.  What’s not helping is the cough that I still have.  I think when that is finally out of my system I will be back to jogging 20 minJ Send me some good juju!

Good News/Bad News Part II

I'll start with the bad news – I still have this stupid flu germ.  Definitely not feeling 100% yet – more like 70%.   I’m still worn down and coughing up things that I will not mention.  I’m not contagious – so all of my work peeps that are reading this do not worry.  I can’t spread my germs to you.  On a sadistic side note there are a few people that I wish I would have shared a flu laced lollipop with while I was still contagious.  Yikes that sounded horrible.  Oh well it’s how I feel today.  My workouts yesterday and today were tough.  I can only jog about 5 minutes before I have to stop and walk for a while.  Ugh.  I was so worried that this would happen.  Hopefully by the end of the week I will be back to where I was??  I hope so.  Ok enough whining!  I'm done.

 

Good news – the rest and new running shoes have done wonders for my ankleJ I jogged yesterday and this morning and it feels great! The new running shoes were worth every last penny! I had no idea that shoes could make that big of a difference. I got Mizuno Women's Wave Alchemy – they rock!

 

Hope you all had a great weekJ

Weigh Day Wednesday

This will be a short post cause I'm still sick and just typing this is zapping all the energy out of me.  Lame!  I went to the doctor today and she says I have a bad viral infection and all I can do it let it run its course and rest.  I'm resting - I really don't have a choice.  Anywho - I weighed this morning and I was down 1.4.  It's not as much as I would have hoped but considering the fact that I haven't been able to jog since Sunday morning I'll take it:)

Good News/Bad News

I'll start with the good news - my ankle feels better.  I haven't gone to the doctor yet.  A friend of mine that is a nurse suggested that I take some ibuprofen and ice it.  I did that yesterday morning after my jog and its doing better. 

Bad news - I'm sick and been in bed all day except to take a shower and that zapped all the energy that I had.  Needless to say there is no way that I can exercise.  But that is good for my ankle.  I have no idea where I picked up these germs.  But they need to take a hike - I hate being sick.